Words of a few Geniuses (Psyche!! :P) - Series I

The following are a few ....ahem...ARGUABLE quotes taken from a few well known individuals... plus MY tidbits of wisdom forced onto them :P. This might well be the first of several installments of such a post!!

(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.) Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever," --Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

- I see. Very interesting. Stereotype blonde, or a gift of gab combined with the wild hope that most of the judges are deaf?!?

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey

- Aah. The blonde component again. Poor girl, she should be transported to the locales she's watched on TV and left alone to contemplate her dietary issues.

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign

- Oh really? I wouldn't have noticed. Thanks for bringing it to my attention!!

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," --Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

- Neither have I. Hey! We have something in common!!

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

- Wow. America must be barbaric. All hail!

"Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

- And forty percent mathematical.

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President

- Wonder what was polluting HIM when he said that.Something gastric, surely.

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." -- Dan Quayle

- Wow. 300 miles. He's discovered the time-space continuum theory!

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need ?" --Lee Iacocca

- He was one of the greatest managers ever that Ford had, he's the mind behind the all-time great Ford Mustang, and is even more famous for his effort in dragging Chrysler out from the brink of bankruptcy, and one of my idols. I don't know about you, Mr.Lido - but I could use all the clean air I can.

"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

- Well, guess what. He's right.

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people." -- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor.

- I would have simply excluded this line from MY article.

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." --Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

- NOooooo! Just when I wanted them the most!!

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." --Keppel Enderbery

- Good to know. Maybe next time they can export HIM.

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." --Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

- Technology knows no bounds. _/\_.