Absolutely hate it when people ask me about my GRE preparations: "How many words have you learnt?" ABSOLUTELY CRAZY! Do you mean to tell me people actually count the number of words they know? Or is it that you had no idea whatsoever of the English language when you began you preparations? Like in kindergarten we thought we knew more than the next kid if he could count to ten and we could count to twelve??
It's not once or twice that people have asked me this question. It's not even the glue-eating snot-eaters or the future auditors obsessed with numbers who ask me this.
Am I missing something here? Is there a fixed roster that I should consult? People tell me about so many books and flash cards and lists and whatnots...which of these were you referring to when you asked me?
Nuts. NUTS!
GRE, more than anything, is out to test your logic and vocabulary - or so they say. My preparation for the exam has not been ideal - or even conventional for that matter. But I can say for sure that I'm enjoying learning the language in my own way! I'd rather not earmark 100 words a day and try out all the memory-enhancing potions and concoctions and techniques, I am more comfortable when I write stuff and learn things that are related to what I need to know! Since when has the GRE become a mugger's paradise?
Not that I'm expecting anything great. I know pros like Shalini Lahiri, Harish Aditham and Srinivas Pavan who can easily come up with awesome scores even if they are blindfolded and allowed to type with only one hand.In a blizzard. But for heaven's sake. I'm pretty sure everyone must have faced this question at least once...so how did you guys respond?
Showing posts with label sarcastic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sarcastic. Show all posts
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
No Comment
Just popped in to scribble (on a keyboard?) a recent post by an esteemed blogger, BOXER. And my take on it. >:)
Veyron said...
Original Post here.
Though this has been my status for a couple of days now...I thought I'll put it down here too..
" Whoever you may be, Wherever life leads you, You are always a Mom's child, a Dad's dream, a Family's future, a Friend's heart & Someone's life! Be the best of it..."
" Whoever you may be, Wherever life leads you, You are always a Mom's child, a Dad's dream, a Family's future, a Friend's heart & Someone's life! Be the best of it..."
Veyron said...You are also your own captain, your nemesis' nightmare, your rival's lifeline, your government's hope and your dog's humping post. Be the best of them too! :D
A Hoot About Nothing
Somehow it seemed to me today morning that I have been limiting my blogging skills to sending scathing messages on my Office Outlook about a certain middle-man. Not a big loss to the blogging community, I'm sure, but it hit me - a blog is a fundamental tool that supports the freedom of expression clause I'm sure I have read somewhere in the Constitution.
However, the furore that's customary to follow any personal opinion and even slightly liberal point of view, has made every self-righteous individual conscious about what he puts out in front of the world. Take a remark about the participation of sportsmen from a neighboring country in a premier sports event, or a tweet (or even a historical institution ) using an older name of a place never mind it's heritage status, or even a scrap about an alleged tragedy.
Every day you read about all these statements, and remarks which look innocent enough, probably made in the best of intentions, but which are twirled around by effigy-burning politicos for their own personal gains.
With that tit-bit of anger out of the way, i feel a lot more freer about my privates ;) Coming back to my middle-man issue, I don't remember what I typed into my mails verbatim, but I can remember something about him being a sinister old dog who doesn't let the other dogs of his compound learn newer tricks either. Something else about his being frustrated about his grey, colorless life and sucking the hues out of ours. And some quote about the Anti-Christ.
With a little less than three months left of my internship, and my main project coming to a blissful end, I breathed a sigh of relief today and got the hell out of the swelter-house.
To conclude, why did I name this post 'A Hoot About Nothing'? Sounds like the name of a blog. Check my blogroll, you'll find similar names - As I See It, My Perceptions, and what not. All commendable blogs, without doubt, though. And just like Seinfeld and George Costanza make their pitch to NBC on the show about nothing, I too have a post about virtually nothing in the end. :|
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Dronos versus the DUNCE
(The following is a work of fiction, or rather, exaggerated truth, based on a few loose truthful events that took place ;P).
Here's a funny dream about a B-Plan Presentation I had last night....hope you enjoy it!
The scene is:
The presentation team Dronos has just finished filming an ad to repair it's lost reputation.
Dronos is essentially a series of high class, luxury segment watches. The special features include: auto-synchronization according to time zones, high rate of durability, and an accuracy to boast of.
The judge is, let's call her....Mrs. Partiallity Encountering Some Teams, a.k.a PEST.
During the questions round, the audience, which essentially comprises of the team's rivals and competitors (though not necessarily in the same field and segment), there was a multitude of questions asked by the PEST's favourite brand owner.
Let's call him.....Mr. Do U Know Cheating Endures, a.k.a DUNCE.
The DUNCE had already finished his round, where he and his team had showcased a done-to-the-boots idea about a series of gift delivery outlets and a convenient website called E-Blings.
Let's not get into trashing THAT idea now.... reserve it for a later date.
Coming back to the questions round.
Dronos Team members include...for convenience sake...Mr.1, Mr.2, Ms.3, Ms.4 and Mr.5.
The team leader was not apparent...so let's skip that part...but I believe it was either Mr. 2 or Ms. 4
PEST: Let the questions flow!
DUNCE: (immediately rising up, no apparent consultation to his own team mates) What research have you done about your product?
Mr.2: (He’s a brilliant sonofabitch, knows how to handle himself in terse situations like this one) You have to elaborate that.
Ms.4: ( Don't really know her so well, but am hoping to... :P ) The product we have shown is perfect for the ever-traveling businessman of today...Considering the amount of traveling involved, we believe this product is the perfect solution to the time changing patterns.
DUNCE: No, no, I mean - What is your consumer base?
Ms.3: (Very cool under pressure, had earlier changed a potentially drastic situation of bad audio quality to the team's advantage by a clever interplay of words) the consumer base we are aiming for is essentially the higher class businessman.
This mostly includes people who occupy the top positions in the corporate sector, and who have to travel to many countries to settle their deals and acquire more profits for the company.
DUNCE: You haven’t given me any facts or figures. How can you judge the success of the product then?
Mr.2: Well, you want facts and figures... Do you know the O'Hara Airport? (The DUNCE shakes his head)...In Chicago?... (Further shaking)...In the USA??...(Agitated shaking, apparently unaware of the sniggers around)...Well, I suggest YOU do YOUR research on that. Anyway, the facts suggest that there are 40 million unique visitors to this airport every year. Considering that there are hundreds of airports in the world today - you can do the math...Or can you??
Ms.3: And we are looking at a potential 20-25% profit on each product, accounting for the various factors such as R&D and advertising.
DUNCE: Are you sure of your number? What's your source?
(Here the Event Manager, GIBSON, rises...) GIBSON: Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, but I believe time's up for this event.
PEST: (smiling) Yes, DUNCE, thank you very much.
DUNCE: (not budging) Ma'am, at least let them answer the question!!
PEST: ( already packing her bag, has no actual idea about the competition, is already thinking about which potion to brew next, and which socks to sew ) Oh, all right, answer the question.
(The Dronos team looks at each other, in amusement) Mr.2: Of course, the Airport Logs have the figure. Well, this was the figure in 2006....
DUNCE: (jumping) AHA!! I knew it!! NO credibility whatsoever...Do not make up fictional entities such as AIRPORT LOGS!! (Scratches his head)
( Laughter everywhere...Even as his own team mates try to budge away from him trying to distance themselves from the DUNCE, he, apparently gets more agitated)
DUNCE: Well, what if the same customer decides to go twice or thrice to the same airport? What about then, huh???
Mr.2: (Shoulders sag down to show the hopelessness of the situation, cannot believe that this idiot is actually asking more questions) Excuse me... I did say 4 million UNIQUE customers.
DUNCE: (finger in his mouth) Oh.
(Again, the EM, GIBSON stands up...he's had about enough...) GIBSON: Thank you, DUNCE. Now--
DUNCE: (paying no heed to GIBSON) What is the cost of your product?
(The Dronos team, just about to leave, looks at him in bewilderment) Ms.4: Cost?
DUNCE: Yes, cost. I am a consumer to you, and I want to know the cost of your product.
Ms.4: (looks at him as if she would press charges on him if he ever decided to become a consumer of their product) Well, obviously, no one can estimate the price of the product. This is not a marketing round; it's only an advertising one.
DUNCE: (scenting blood) Aha!! So you cannot even tell the cost of your product to me!! How can I be a concerned customer then?
PEST: (amused) Come, now, DUNCE... don't be so prickly.
DUNCE: Ma'am, but if I were them, then I would have done market research on my product! That too, with my lights shut!!
PEST: What YOU do with your lights shut is no one's concern, DUNCE.....
DUNCE: (amid loud sniggers, even from his own disgruntled team mates) No no!! Suppose I want to buy a packet of peanuts.
It would cost me 10 Rs. Now if you didn’t tell me the price of the product before hand, how would I buy it?
(Here the Dronos team looks at each other. Of course, even though the question is related to marketing strategy and not advertising, they can choose to ignore it. But after all, it IS a legitimate question.)
DUNCE: ( obviously has no idea of what he's talking, oblivious to the fact that he's just asked his first decent question, continues to blabber ) Suppose I had 100Rs. in my pocket. Now the product, if it costs me 50 Rs. only, how would I know?
GIBSON: Eh??
DUNCE: I would pay you the entire 100 Rs. and have no idea about the actual cost.
Ms. 3: ( as though she would love it if she over-priced the fool) Well, we cannot tell you the actual cost... but considering the consumer base we have, and what with the profit we are talking about, I'm sure it'll be decent sized.
(The DUNCE is apparently not amused.)
Ms. 4: You say you are a concerned customer. What is the actual cost of the watches in the luxury segment nowadays?
DUNCE: Uh.....
Mr.2: What about YOUR product...... if I asked you to tell me the price of each and every gift in your outlet, would you be able to do that?
Mr.5: Yes, with the transportation charges, too, obviously.
Mr.1: Do you even know the price of courier services and speed mail today? How will your prices be any different?
Mr.2: Of course it'll be different. In fact - they'll charge more to add the cost of setting up the website!!
(The DUNCE is at a loss for words. His team has already left...leaving him to his state. )
DUNCE: But...but....
GIBSON: (relieved) Thank you, Ma'am, and all contestants for your participation. Deputy EM's - If that man (points at DUNCE) says another word), drag him out of the Lecture theater please... Another event's about to begin.
Here I left the lecture Theater, obviously amused at the level of intellect that a national level tech-fest could latch up!!
Here's a funny dream about a B-Plan Presentation I had last night....hope you enjoy it!
The scene is:
The presentation team Dronos has just finished filming an ad to repair it's lost reputation.
Dronos is essentially a series of high class, luxury segment watches. The special features include: auto-synchronization according to time zones, high rate of durability, and an accuracy to boast of.
The judge is, let's call her....Mrs. Partiallity Encountering Some Teams, a.k.a PEST.
During the questions round, the audience, which essentially comprises of the team's rivals and competitors (though not necessarily in the same field and segment), there was a multitude of questions asked by the PEST's favourite brand owner.
Let's call him.....Mr. Do U Know Cheating Endures, a.k.a DUNCE.
The DUNCE had already finished his round, where he and his team had showcased a done-to-the-boots idea about a series of gift delivery outlets and a convenient website called E-Blings.
Let's not get into trashing THAT idea now.... reserve it for a later date.
Coming back to the questions round.
Dronos Team members include...for convenience sake...Mr.1, Mr.2, Ms.3, Ms.4 and Mr.5.
The team leader was not apparent...so let's skip that part...but I believe it was either Mr. 2 or Ms. 4
PEST: Let the questions flow!
DUNCE: (immediately rising up, no apparent consultation to his own team mates) What research have you done about your product?
Mr.2: (He’s a brilliant sonofabitch, knows how to handle himself in terse situations like this one) You have to elaborate that.
Ms.4: ( Don't really know her so well, but am hoping to... :P ) The product we have shown is perfect for the ever-traveling businessman of today...Considering the amount of traveling involved, we believe this product is the perfect solution to the time changing patterns.
DUNCE: No, no, I mean - What is your consumer base?
Ms.3: (Very cool under pressure, had earlier changed a potentially drastic situation of bad audio quality to the team's advantage by a clever interplay of words) the consumer base we are aiming for is essentially the higher class businessman.
This mostly includes people who occupy the top positions in the corporate sector, and who have to travel to many countries to settle their deals and acquire more profits for the company.
DUNCE: You haven’t given me any facts or figures. How can you judge the success of the product then?
Mr.2: Well, you want facts and figures... Do you know the O'Hara Airport? (The DUNCE shakes his head)...In Chicago?... (Further shaking)...In the USA??...(Agitated shaking, apparently unaware of the sniggers around)...Well, I suggest YOU do YOUR research on that. Anyway, the facts suggest that there are 40 million unique visitors to this airport every year. Considering that there are hundreds of airports in the world today - you can do the math...Or can you??
Ms.3: And we are looking at a potential 20-25% profit on each product, accounting for the various factors such as R&D and advertising.
DUNCE: Are you sure of your number? What's your source?
(Here the Event Manager, GIBSON, rises...) GIBSON: Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, but I believe time's up for this event.
PEST: (smiling) Yes, DUNCE, thank you very much.
DUNCE: (not budging) Ma'am, at least let them answer the question!!
PEST: ( already packing her bag, has no actual idea about the competition, is already thinking about which potion to brew next, and which socks to sew ) Oh, all right, answer the question.
(The Dronos team looks at each other, in amusement) Mr.2: Of course, the Airport Logs have the figure. Well, this was the figure in 2006....
DUNCE: (jumping) AHA!! I knew it!! NO credibility whatsoever...Do not make up fictional entities such as AIRPORT LOGS!! (Scratches his head)
( Laughter everywhere...Even as his own team mates try to budge away from him trying to distance themselves from the DUNCE, he, apparently gets more agitated)
DUNCE: Well, what if the same customer decides to go twice or thrice to the same airport? What about then, huh???
Mr.2: (Shoulders sag down to show the hopelessness of the situation, cannot believe that this idiot is actually asking more questions) Excuse me... I did say 4 million UNIQUE customers.
DUNCE: (finger in his mouth) Oh.
(Again, the EM, GIBSON stands up...he's had about enough...) GIBSON: Thank you, DUNCE. Now--
DUNCE: (paying no heed to GIBSON) What is the cost of your product?
(The Dronos team, just about to leave, looks at him in bewilderment) Ms.4: Cost?
DUNCE: Yes, cost. I am a consumer to you, and I want to know the cost of your product.
Ms.4: (looks at him as if she would press charges on him if he ever decided to become a consumer of their product) Well, obviously, no one can estimate the price of the product. This is not a marketing round; it's only an advertising one.
DUNCE: (scenting blood) Aha!! So you cannot even tell the cost of your product to me!! How can I be a concerned customer then?
PEST: (amused) Come, now, DUNCE... don't be so prickly.
DUNCE: Ma'am, but if I were them, then I would have done market research on my product! That too, with my lights shut!!
PEST: What YOU do with your lights shut is no one's concern, DUNCE.....
DUNCE: (amid loud sniggers, even from his own disgruntled team mates) No no!! Suppose I want to buy a packet of peanuts.
It would cost me 10 Rs. Now if you didn’t tell me the price of the product before hand, how would I buy it?
(Here the Dronos team looks at each other. Of course, even though the question is related to marketing strategy and not advertising, they can choose to ignore it. But after all, it IS a legitimate question.)
DUNCE: ( obviously has no idea of what he's talking, oblivious to the fact that he's just asked his first decent question, continues to blabber ) Suppose I had 100Rs. in my pocket. Now the product, if it costs me 50 Rs. only, how would I know?
GIBSON: Eh??
DUNCE: I would pay you the entire 100 Rs. and have no idea about the actual cost.
Ms. 3: ( as though she would love it if she over-priced the fool) Well, we cannot tell you the actual cost... but considering the consumer base we have, and what with the profit we are talking about, I'm sure it'll be decent sized.
(The DUNCE is apparently not amused.)
Ms. 4: You say you are a concerned customer. What is the actual cost of the watches in the luxury segment nowadays?
DUNCE: Uh.....
Mr.2: What about YOUR product...... if I asked you to tell me the price of each and every gift in your outlet, would you be able to do that?
Mr.5: Yes, with the transportation charges, too, obviously.
Mr.1: Do you even know the price of courier services and speed mail today? How will your prices be any different?
Mr.2: Of course it'll be different. In fact - they'll charge more to add the cost of setting up the website!!
(The DUNCE is at a loss for words. His team has already left...leaving him to his state. )
DUNCE: But...but....
GIBSON: (relieved) Thank you, Ma'am, and all contestants for your participation. Deputy EM's - If that man (points at DUNCE) says another word), drag him out of the Lecture theater please... Another event's about to begin.
Here I left the lecture Theater, obviously amused at the level of intellect that a national level tech-fest could latch up!!
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