Who's the Grumpiest of them All?

Mirror, mirror, on the wall; 

Who’s the grumpiest of them all? 

If it’s me, then hear me pray, 

Do not keep the assessment test today! 



And if it is the corporate you see; 

In your depths of grumpy mystery, 

Just remind them of their career goals, 

And do not make them intern-haunting assholes. 



But if it is Anuraag you are claiming; 

His grumpiness is centered around ONM training! 

So just remind him of his GF back home, 

That he can then chuck his internship notes over the B-dome. 



It might be Syal, you might say; 

Him and his troubles, of not being gay. 

To him I have no words of praise or rot, 

Coz the one straight gf is all I got. 



To Ojas, you might turn your attention to; 

Hez never grumpy, though you might expect him to. 

Hez alwez in some or the other gym; 

You’d expect a stench even in the mails sent by him. 



Kosa, o mirror, is one of the worst; 

To hear him talk abt anything apart from anime is a first. 

Hez grumpy abt the project, the people and all; 

Has to handle Kolkata and the Rest of Bengal. 



And mirror, I know you cant check on KRK ob; 

Hez never there, yet hez the one who gets the job. 

I think his corporate project work is nil, 

Yet the dude is never in office, alwez seems to be ill. 



Ashish and Sabin, are two of a kind; 

Though as ghazi and mallu, they are of different mind. 

What with puzzles, and CAT, and Preeti, between them; 

It is a mystery how they have survived an entire sem! 



And mirror, o mirror, what about Rajiv, in Hyd? 

The perennial silent, and the reporter, of the tide. 

And Varun, in Pune, seems to know all; 

He knows, secretly, that in the test he ll stand tall. 



And what, I ask, of Shubham Banerjee; 

Without two front teeth, you can hardly expect glee. 

Though in Blore for a year, hez raided a few bars, 

With is daily Good Morning mails, you wouldn’t guess this guy saw black and blue stars! 



But the grumpiest of them all, I think is Nihar Sreeramshetty, 

The bloke shares a room with Gowda, whoz a tharkee to the t! 

But 6 months, of silent suffering; 

Might have turned Nihar into a God-Fearing human being. 



All in all, this was IDEA Cellular, 

My home away from home, for half a year, 

And if not for you guys, my days would have been spent, 

In Indore bars prolly, rubbing my own eyes with some ointment. 



ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: TO ALL MY PS MATES, MENTIONED AND UNMENTIONED IN THE POEM, THANKS FOR A ROCKING TIME! JUST BCOS I DINT MENTION SAHITHYA, ANKEET, SAYANI….DONT FEEL BAD! MEANS EITHER U DON’T SEND MANY MAILS, OR ARE NORMAL!!!! :D 



P.S I KNOW LAST STANZA IS LAME. DEAL WITH IT! 

Impossible Is Nothing

To date, Impossible is Nothing is simply the most inspiring quote I have ever come across.

I  remember the Adidas poster outside a showroom, opposite my junior college, that showed the quote in large bold letters. I remember waiting outside my college for the bus, and trying to memorize the entire piece.

It said: Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.

Sports equipment and apparel maker Adidas has always been known for it’s innovative and inspiring advertising ideas, but this one just goes over the top for me. The slogan was launchead along with a video series that featured around 40 athletes from around the world.

In each video, a famous sports personality talks about his achievement, and the difficulties he / they had to face with to attain their goals, no matter how impossible they seemed to others. The list of sportsmen includes Argentina footballer Lionel Messi who talks about his early height impediment; Indian cricketer Sachin Tendulkar who tells us about his training methods; English footballer David Beckham, who talks about what he went through after being red carded during a World Cup match. Other prominent spokesmen include NBA star Gilbert Arenas, the New Zealand rugby team, etc.

Ads such as these certainly stir the audience

The Impossible is Nothing series also includes two videos about a couple of young street footballers, who pick international stars such as Gerrard, Lampard, Kahn, Zidane, Cisse, Platini, Kaka, Beckenbauer, etc. and play in a small small ground in a Spanish locality.

Campaigns such as this one certainly have a profound effect on the viewing audience, and convince youngsters that sports is not all about the sweat, stink and blood, but can also be about style, team spirit and skills.

Premier League Schedule for 2010-11 Season Out

The fixtures of the new season of the Barclays Premier League were announced earlier today.

Season 2010-11 will kick off on August 14th, with all 20 teams in action. Defending champions Chelsea will face newly-promoted West Bromwich Albion at the Stamford Bridge. Alex Ferguson’s Manchester United,too, entertain promoted Newcastle United.

Blackpool, the third team to be promoted, will clash with Wigan Athletic for their first match in top-flight.

The biggest match of the opening day, arguably, will feature Liverpool at home to Arsenal. Liverpool, who parted ways with Benitez earlier in the summer, are yet too announce their new manager, and also face uncertainty about the future of the club, what with it being on sale. Arsenal, however, will be high on confidence after the new signings join them, and Arsene will look to go one better this season and land a major trophy.

Another big match though, will be Tottenham versus Manchester City, at White Hart Lane. The last time these two sides clashed, it was almost a playoff for the final Champions League berth, and Mancini’s ManCity will have a bitter taste in their mouth about those memories. Having to settle for the Europa League in spite of their signings, the blue half of Manchester seems destined to go on yet another spending spree and bring in a couple of more high profile signings after the World Cup.

Boxing Day fixtures, too are set to be a hoot with Arsenal hosting Chelsea at home, and Aston Villa host Tottenham. The December mothnw ill witness Chelsea play Arsenal, Manchester United and Tottenham in what promises to be a mouth-watering battle for top spot.

Add to that the Champions League and the Europa League schedules, and fans across the world will be licking their lips in anticipation.
OPENING DAY FIXTURES

Aston Villa v West Ham
Blackburn v Everton
Blackpool v Wigan
Bolton v Fulham
Chelsea v West Brom
Liverpool v Arsenal
Man Utd v Newcastle
Sunderland v Birmingham
Tottenham v Man City
Wolverhampton v Stoke

BOXING DAY FIXTURES

Arsenal v Chelsea
Aston Villa v Tottenham
Blackburn v Stoke
Blackpool v Liverpool
Bolton v West Brom
Everton v Birmingham
Fulham v West Ham
Man Utd v Sunderland
Newcastle v Man City
Wolverhampton v Wigan

FINAL DAY FIXTURES

Aston Villa v Liverpool
Bolton v Man City
Everton v Chelsea
Fulham v Arsenal
Man Utd v Blackpool
Newcastle v West Brom
Stoke v Wigan
Tottenham v Birmingham
West Ham v Sunderland
Wolverhampton v Blackburn

Roy Hodgson or Kenny Dalglish: The Next Top Kop?

Benitez’s departure to Internazionale has prompted a flurry of activity among former players and management, and fans around the world are waiting eagerly as to who will eventually be named in the hot-seat.

Kop legend Dalglish, Fulham manager Hodgson, Mark Hughes and Italy coach Lippi have emerged the top names for the seat. Lippi has denied that he will be involved with the club after the World Cup, so we will look at the other two contenders.

1. Kenny Dalglish:

Benitez himself has given the thumbs-up to Dalglish throwing his hat in the ring. Dalglish, a Liverpool legend, has received support for his decision from many of the former players as well.

After Rafa Benitez left Liverpool last week, the club issued a statement saying that Dalglish would lead the search for a new manager alongside managing director Christian Purslow.

Dalglish, who quit as Liverpool boss in 1991 before going on to manage Blackburn and Newcastle, has taken one look at the shortlist of candidates and decided he could do a better job than those who have so far been identified. Dalglish, 59, won three league titles as Reds’ boss between 1985 and 1991.

Turning to Dalglish also saves any compensation claim, such as the 2.5 million pounds it would need to grab Roy Hodgson from Fulham.

Dalglish’s son, meanwhile, has claimed his father only wants to succeed Benitez at Anfield owing to an absence of credible alternatives.

Paul Dalglish, now head coach of Tampa Bay Rowdies, revealed: “It’s not as though Jose Mourinho is going to come and do the job.

“It’s not as though Fabio Capello’s going to leave England to become the next manager of Liverpool.

“My dad wants to do the job and he feels he is the best person available to do the job.

“If Jose Mourinho was available and he wanted to do the job, my dad wouldn’t have any interest in it because all my dad ever does is act in the best interests of Liverpool Football Club.”

Roy Hodgson - In deep thought

2. Roy Hodgson:

Fulham boss Hodgson was the toast of the last season, leading Fulham to the Europa League finals only two  seasons after they were threatened with relegation.

Liverpool are not keen on appointing Kenny Dalglish, but with support growing for the Scot, the club are keen to appoint someone else quickly to avoid being pressured into a decision.

Talks between Hodgson and the club have been scheduled to take place, with Aston Villa manager Martin O’Neill also on the shortlist of candidates to replace Rafael Benitez.

Hodgson’s appointment though could be subject to whether he believes the current financial turmoil surrounding the club will affect his ability to manage.

The former Blackburn and Switzerland manager has a £2.5m buy-out clause in his current one-year Fulham contract, but the west London club are said to be doing their best to tie him down further.

The Sun reports that owner Mohamed Al Fayed is prepared to double Hodgson’s £1m-a-year deal, while Fulham are also hoping that the 62-year-old will stay in the hope that he will become the next England manager.

“Leaving Fulham to take over at England would be seen as the pinnacle of Roy’s career,” an insider told the paper.

“And everyone thinks that’s what he would love to do. He could miss out on that if he gets tempted by Liverpool and then the England job comes up not long after.”

Hodgson has been more of a certainty than Dalglish, with calls for an English manager to take up the job coming in.

Whoever take over the job, though, has a lot of issues to take care of immediately, not least the club being up for sale, and also that Torres, Gerrard and Benayoun being in other clubs’ crosshairs for quite a while now. Transfers have been postponed till the new manager  is announced. Even Benitez is planning to try and buy Mascherano and Kuyt as his fist signings at Inter Milan.

However, like former captain Mark Wright suggests, any manager who brings success to the club after such a dismal season will be viewd as a ‘God’. Both Wright, and present England defender Carragher have urged the club to finalize the decision quickly.

The Truth behind Benitez

The man who dared the Reds to dream, and showed them a nightmare instead. The man who worked incredible bargains, and produced major flops alongside. The man who coupld win the European Champion’s League, but only one of his last nine fixtures.

With Benitez now at the helm of Inter Milan, the time has come to analyze how many of his crtitc’s statements are true. No doubt there were many – but how many of them stand ground?

Just what has Benitez done for Liverpool?

1. The Glory:

Rafa Benitez is a good tactician and there is no doubt about it

Benitez managed Liverpool through an incredible Champions Leaguye campaign in 2005 that saw them win the finals in Istanbul against AC Milan in spite of being 0 – 3 down after the first half.  He led them to an FA Cup triumph the year later. Another Champions League finals a year after that. All the while finishing fifth, third third, and later second in the Premiership. Considering what Liverpool were like under Houllier, no doubt Benitez brought back the glory days back to the Kop.

Despite a European Cup success and an FA Cup success, both won since Arsene Wenger last delivered a trophy to Arsenal’s trophy cabinet, the 50-year-old Spaniard has faced a torrent of inexplicable pressure from the media, ex-players and other ‘expert’ commentators on his contribution to the Merseyside giants.

2. The Bargains:

When he took over, Benitez considered Liverpool (as did many of the supporters), to be at least nine players short of championship material. But with the arrival of Pepe Reina, Torres, Agger, Alonso, Mascherano and Kuyt, Benitez transformed the core of the team into a force to be reckoned with.

Where Did Benitez Fail?

1. The Boardroom:

That Rafa had frequent run-ins with the management of the company is no big secret. More than football, politics in the upper echelons of the management might ave foreced rafa out of Merseyside.

2. Man-Management:

Separately, Torres, Gerrard and Carragher have all said that they struggle to think of conversations with Benitez that weren’t about football. It suggests he is only interested in footballers as players, rather than as people. Alonso’s departure last year can certainly be attributed to Benitez’s attitude during his attempts to sell his fellow Spaniard the previous summer.

It was a complaint voiced by Pennant, who said he was frustrated by his manager’s continual presence on the touchline, forever conveying orders. Benitez could respond that his attention to detail has been responsible for some of his tactical triumphs and that tinkering with his players’ positions has had benefits.

Benitez will have more finances at Inter

3. The Transfer Window:

Say what you want about lack of finances at the Kop – but Benitez has had tough luck when it comes to choosing a good player. More players have flopped at Liverpool under him than he would like to think. Craig Bellamy produced better form in two months at Eastlands than his two years under Benitez. Strikers such as Crouch and Keane left as soon as the Torres-Gerrard partnership flourished and threatened to plac ethem on the bench. Morientes, Voronin, Babel, Keane, Dossena, Penant, Luis Garcia…. it has been quite a list.

Is it fair to axe a man for one bad season after five successful ones? We will never really know. Can he do better with the resources he is given at Inter? Only time will tell. But one thing is for sure – Rafa Benitez has left a legacy behind him

World's Best Resume Ever!

This video resume of s man called Aleksey Vayner/Garber started making the rounds a couple of years ago, and has even been ranked as one of the most viewed videos of all time. Vayner sent this resume to get a finance job, but the content of the video caught the attention of the employers, and the video somehow got leaked to the Web. Immediately, it became an instant craze, as people logging in to follow the so-called exploits of this man.

The video has been ranked at #87 on the Most Iconic Internet Videos of all time.

Veyner, aspiring to be an investment banker, sent this video along with a 11-page resume to banking powerhouse UBS, along with a glamor-shot. The resume instantly caught the attention of the bankers. Soon enough, Vayner had turned into the biggest joke of Wall Street.

In his resume, Vayner claims to have participated in several outstanding feats.

Describing himself as 'Aleksey Vayner, CEO & Professional Athlete,' the video shows him (supposedly) lifting a 495-pound weight, serving a tennis ball at 140mph, performing a rather impressive rotating jump while skiing, and – in an extended sequence – ballroom dancing with an underdressed lady while clad in a figure hugging black polo neck.
In the video, he comments: 'If you're going to work, work. If you're going to train, train. If you're going to dance, then dance, but do it with passion.'
Finally, wearing white robes, he majestically smashes a pile of bricks with his bare hands.
In his cover letter to UBS, he says: 'As a world-level athlete in several sports, I have developed an insatiable appetite for peak performance and continuous learning. My trainer and world martial arts champion often said, “Impossible is just someone's opinion.” I live by those words.'
His 11-page resume (11 pages!) also states that he is the CEO of his own investment firm, that he founded a charity helping young people, and that he can cure people using his knowledge of Chinese medicine.
Ivygate claims that  his 'investment firm' may be fake, and plagiarises its mission statement from another firm; that his 'charity' Youth Empowerment Strategies bears an uncanny resemblance to an entirely unconnected charity also called Youth Empowerment Strategies; and that his self-published book about the Holocaust ('Women's Silent Tears') plagiarises entire segments from an online Holocaust Encyclopedia.
Other interesting stories about Vayner include one student's recollection - reported in Yale Daily News - that he claimed to be one of only four people in the state of Connecticut qualified to handle nuclear waste. Also reported in the humour magazine Yale Rumpus are his assertions that he was previously employed by the CIA and the Mafia, and that he had given tennis lessons to Harrison Ford.


More about Aleksey
The New Yorker wrote about Aleksey’s past fibs:
Claims to have won two games against tennis great Pete Sampras, and taught Jerry Seinfeld and Harrison Ford to play
The Dalai Lama wrote his college recommendation letter
He was an action star and professional skier

Other publications investigating learned that Vayner has variously claimed the following[1]
He won two games against tennis great Pete Sampras, and taught Jerry Seinfeld and Harrison Ford to play
He is an expert in Chinese orthopedic massage
The Dalai Lama wrote his college recommendation letter
He was an action stuntman and professional skier
He is a professional model and has appeared in promotional ads for multiple clothing stores including Ann Taylor and Saks Fifth Avenue.
He worked for the Central Intelligence Agency
He is a master in the art of Tibetan bone-setting
He forged passports for the Russian Mafia
He participated in Tibetan gladiatorial contests
He is one of four people in the state of Connecticut certified to handle nuclear waste
He at one point claimed to be the original developer of Napster
Rumpus Magazine, a Yale University tabloid, had already exposed Vayner as a possible fake before attending Yale.
Vayner is licensed to handle nuclear waste, must register his hands as lethal weapons, and participates in Tibetan gladiatorial contests.


Oh and by the way, Vayner didn't get a job - from UBS or any other bank. He took an indefinite leave from college too.