The difference between a Friend and The Friend

Who is a friend and who is The Friend? A look into the oft-floated theories:
1. A friend doesn't mind which restaurant you guys are going to.
    The Friend not only minds, but he makes you pay for the whole damn thing if he doesn't get his pick.

2. A friend will walk with you till the nearest petrol pump if the bike you guys are on runs out of fuel.
   The Friend not only will hitch a ride from the first vehicle to pass you, he'll give you wrong directions to the petrol pump so you have to lug the thing an extra half mile. And the bike is HIS to begin with.

3. A friend will kick you and rag you on your birthday,
   The Friend will not only kick the living daylights (at night) out of you, he'll inject ink into unboiled eggs, get buckets of hot water and cold water, organize a mini-Afghanistan in your hostel room, buy two cakes and ruin BOTH, by stuffing then in your nostrils, hair, ears, pants, and whatnot.

4. A friend will chat once in a while when you are online.
    The Friend will not chat with you, will be busy inspite of his Available tag, and yet make you pay for drinks to make your cold-shoulder attitude next time you meet!

5. A friend syncs his laundry timings with you. So that you can spare a solo trip.
    The Friend will offer to carry your laundry, and throw it in the mud, drool all over it, when you aren't looking, just so that you have to pay extra for that Special Wash which the laundry offers.

The person who popped into your minds while reading "A friend" is a worthy soul - he will stick with you. The person who popped into your minds while reading "The Friend" will stick with you inspite of the restraining order. Enjoy his company!