What Guys Feel about Girls (but don't say out Loud) - A Frank Letter to all Gals

Why should I bring this up? If we don't say it out loud, it better stay put in our minds, right? Well, most of this stuff is what we assume you know, but in fact you don't (most of the time). And guess what - most guys feel the same way, and probably just don't have the guts (or are too nice) to tell them to you directly.

NOTE: As goes usually with my notes, the Bad Guy notice - no offense is meant to anyone, and all comments and criticisms welcome! This ain't just my personal opinion, and any guy who vehemently disparages my points is either faking to impress his girlfriend, or is really, just really lucky.

So here goes. 


1. NO, YOU DON'T LOOK FAT!

Guys don't care as much about their weight, let alone yours. Oh sure, the impression stands that a guy is more attracted to a girl with a great body, but in no way does that mean putting on a couple of pounds will make you any less likeable. Oh, I know, reading the last sentence, you'd be all like "Oh my God, did he just say a couple of POUNDS?" But face it - Unless the guy is a trainer for the losebellyfat.com or some similar site, and runs marathons every day for fun, and has a 19-pack abs, he simply doesn't care that much. So next time that you ask him, "Does this make me look fat?", expect the same monotonous response you'd get if you asked, "Was the dish I made really good?" :D


2. WE KNOW YOU CAN ALSO GROW FACIAL HAIR - JUST DON'T TELL US ABOUT HOW YOU TAKE THEM OUT.

Face it. It's no secret. I don't know whether you gals actually enjoy going to the parlor, and use all the hot waxes and whatnot concoctions, but guess what - all the guys get the creeps when you tell them about your exploits in that salon. Don't sport a Rajnkanth-esque stache (or like a villain from the old Western films - who keeps twirling his), anything else is almost fine. We do understand that you want to look good, but a couple of millimeters is nothing to freak out about.


3. WE LIKE IT WHEN YOU PUT YOUR ARM AROUND OURS.

Yea, and you don't have to be a girlfriend to do it! If you are close to a guy, he'll be quite happy to guide you. It gives us a sense of responsibility, and also help make other guys (and couples) jealous! :P


4. WE ACCEPT THE FACT THAT THERE MIGHT BE MORE GOOD-LOOKING GIRLS THAN THERE ARE GUYS.

Oh, save the tosh.. We know that you compare notes behind our backs, we know that you all think you can do a lot better, and we all understand that (at least in India), we might not all turn out to be Brad Pitts and Tom Cruise(s). How many times have we heard the old "99% of girls blah blah beautiful 1% blah blah my college" and how many times have we seen girls roll their eyes at this? We already know that your response is, "Look in the mirror, you perv, before you comment on the girls!" It's just an ego thing, you know.


5. DON'T PLAY GAMES.

This is one that I'm sure all the guys will agree on unanimously. If there are movies I absolutely retch at, it's the kind of movies where the girls gang up and manipulate others. Guess what - MAJOR TURNOFF! If you like the guy, just tell him. If he freaks out, then console him - straight to his face. If he's into you but you feel you aren't quite there yet, tell him so. The guy might feel bad - but will appreciate your honesty. Don't - and I repeat - DON'T leave him hanging at any point. Not only does it kill us - but in retrospect, we won't like to be seen anywhere even remotely around you again.


6. YUP, WE CARE ABOUT OUR LOOKS - BUT NOT AS MUCH AS YOU DO ABOUT YOURS.

Yea, yea, we all have seen Shahid Kapoor and his ads about whitening and fairness creams for men, and we all have used the infamous BrylCreem at some point or the other in our lives. We gives reasons such as "sunscreen" or "pollution", or even "cosmopolitan", but fact is, we take care of ourselves. We pick our clothes carefully, we think thrice before buying a deo. But that is the extent to which we might go. So don't go picking out clothes for him or keep commenting on his attire. Unless he is a Communist and wears only drab clothing, or else his mother has picked up his shirts for him, understand that his clothes were his choice and he won;t necessarily take your criticism constructively.


7. THE "IT'S NOT YOU - IT'S ME".

We've all heard this one. Don't even try it; it's a man's line, not yours. And don't pull it on us unless you have feelings for another guy and then want to break up. Even if you do so, tell us the guy's name, and give us a chance to fight for you at the very least. Unless of course the guy is that big a mighty jackass and you never really felt anything for him anyway.


8. NOT ALL OF YOUR MALE FRIENDS ARE TRYING TO HIT ON YOU.

Not even if you're a swimsuit model on the cover of Vogue magazine, will all your male buddies be trying to impress you. From where do you (referring to only some girls) get the impression that everyone has put on an act to woo you? We are as bored and irritated of putting on an act as you are.


9. IF WE SUPPORT YOU DURING A DARK PHASE IN YOUR LIFE, IT DOESN'T MEAN WE ARE TRYING TO WOO YOU, IT MEANS WE CARE.

We've all seen the movies where the do-goody best friend is finally the long-lost love that the heroine is waiting for. We didn't WANT to watch it - but you made us do. But guess what. Unless the guy is a total jerk - in which case this post isn't written about him - we really want to take care, and make sure you are okay by the end of your ordeal. No, we are not hitting on you. No, we don't even have an ulterior motive. And no, we do not expect anything in return. We just want a smile on your face and a "Thank you" will do just fine as well.

10. WE HAVE OUR LIVES. 

Just like you, we have our very real lives, with real people, real problems, real emotions. We might not be the best at talking about them, or might not even want to, but it doesn't mean we don't have them. Do NOT expect us at your beck and call every single time and make a big fuss if we can't make it once in a while. On the other hand, listen to the guy once in a while, try and find out what he thinks.

In the end, all these things (and maybe a few more I missed) are what make us who we are. All the tosh about guys maturing later than girls or not growing up is just rot. We appear immature to be cool. We are brash, aggressive, and quite adept at lying. (Oh yeah.) But we still have our conscience, and we use it when required. So do not judge us after watching us during a basketball match where we had an altercation with another player. Guess what? We like you too. :D