The difference between a Friend and The Friend

Who is a friend and who is The Friend? A look into the oft-floated theories:
1. A friend doesn't mind which restaurant you guys are going to.
    The Friend not only minds, but he makes you pay for the whole damn thing if he doesn't get his pick.

2. A friend will walk with you till the nearest petrol pump if the bike you guys are on runs out of fuel.
   The Friend not only will hitch a ride from the first vehicle to pass you, he'll give you wrong directions to the petrol pump so you have to lug the thing an extra half mile. And the bike is HIS to begin with.

3. A friend will kick you and rag you on your birthday,
   The Friend will not only kick the living daylights (at night) out of you, he'll inject ink into unboiled eggs, get buckets of hot water and cold water, organize a mini-Afghanistan in your hostel room, buy two cakes and ruin BOTH, by stuffing then in your nostrils, hair, ears, pants, and whatnot.

4. A friend will chat once in a while when you are online.
    The Friend will not chat with you, will be busy inspite of his Available tag, and yet make you pay for drinks to make your cold-shoulder attitude next time you meet!

5. A friend syncs his laundry timings with you. So that you can spare a solo trip.
    The Friend will offer to carry your laundry, and throw it in the mud, drool all over it, when you aren't looking, just so that you have to pay extra for that Special Wash which the laundry offers.

The person who popped into your minds while reading "A friend" is a worthy soul - he will stick with you. The person who popped into your minds while reading "The Friend" will stick with you inspite of the restraining order. Enjoy his company!

Questions about the Soul

Is the soul warm or cold? Does it depend on the person's demeanor and activities? Is the soul lighter than air or heavier? All this will tell us whether the fact that we go to Heaven/Hell is destiny, or the choice of our soul. How does the soul get heavier? Does it really need two singing angels to carry it upwards? If it is that heavy, maybe me should start soul dieting. You know - divide your soul into seven pieces, like Voldemort does. Now I understand him! All he wanted to do was get into heaven. If the soul was lighter than air, it would have floated up by itself - it wouldn't have needed any angels. Even when the endless pits of Hell open up at the soul's feet, instead of falling into it, the soul will rise up with the air currents. Plus the fact the hot sir blowing  from hell at it's feet will sort of give it the initial lift - kind of like a hot-air balloon.

FIFA World Cup Team Preview: South Africa

Country: South Africa

Nickname: Bafana Bafana

Manager: Carlos Alberto Perreira

FIFA Rank: 90 (Ref: FIFA.com, April 2010)

Group Opponents: Mexico, Uruguay, France (Group A)

World Cup Schedule:

Jun 11 vs. Mexico,
Jun 16 vs. Uruguay
Jun 22 vs. France

Goalkeepers
Itumeleng Khune	Kaizer Chiefs
Moeneeb Josephs	Orlando Pirates
Rowan Fernandez	Bieleveld (GER)
Defenders
Matthew Booth	Mamelodi Sundowns
Siboniso Gaxa	Mamelodi Sundowns
Bongani Khumalo	SuperSport United
Tshepo Masilela	Maccabi Haifa (ISR)
Innocent Mdledle	Mamelodi Sundowns
Aaron Mokoena	Portsmouth (ENG)
Bryce Moon	PAOK (GRE)
Anele Ngcongca	Genk (BEL)
Siyabonga Sangweni	Golden Arrows
Lucas Thwala	Orlando Pirates
Midfielders
Franklin Cale	Mamelodi Sundowns
Lance Davids	Ajax Cape Town
Kagisho Dikgacoi	Fulham (ENG)
Andile Jali	Orlando Pirates
Thanduyise Khuboni	Golden Arrows
Reneilwe Letsholonyane	Kaizer Chiefs
Teko Modise	Orlando Pirates
Surprise Moriri	Mamelodi Sundowns
Steven Pienaar	Everton (ENG)
Macbeth Sibaya	Rubin Kazan (RUS)
Simphiwe Tshabalala	Kaizer Chiefs
Forwards
Katlego Mphela	Mamelodi Sundowns
Benni McCarthy	West Ham United (ENG)
Siyabonga Nomvete	Moroka Swallows
Bernard Parker	FC Twente (NED)

Benni Mccarthy

Recent Form and News: South Africa,or the Rainbow nation, gained automatic qualification, but went through the qualification stages nonetheless, where they were knocked out in the second round. When South Africa hosted the Confederations’ Cup last year, the team made it to the semi finals, and showed commendable spirit against some of the bigger teams like Spain and Brazil. The Bafana Bafana held Brazil for most of the 90 minutes in the semis, but came undone after conceding a late free-kick. In the 3rd place playoff, too, they led Spain at one stage, before dramatically losing in extra-time. Their coach, Alberto Parreira, is one of only two coaches who has led four teams to the World Cup, and will equal the record of five teams when he leads South Africa into this year’s edition. He was the Brazilian coach when they won the 1994 edition in the United States.

The team’s form of late hasn’t been all that inspiring. If not for the automatic qualification as a host nation, it is very doubtful that they would have been involved on the big stage. Their only wins of late have come against Jamaica, Zimbabwe and Equatorial Guinea.

The favored instruments of the crowds, the vuvuzelas, created a minor ruckus with the FIFA, who almost banned the instruments, but later decided not to do so due to national and traditional sentiments.

South Africa are the hosts.

Author’s Comments: The host country will have to pull something special out of their hats even to get past the group stages. However, history has shown that playing at home has a huge advantage, as was seen by all when South Korea battled it all the way to the semis when they hosted the World Cup in 2002. History is indeed on their side, as a host nation has never been knocked out during the group stages of the tournament.

The most important players on the green for the hosts are captain and defender Aaron Mokoena, and Everton’s Steven Pienaar. Also to watch out for is Tsepo Masilela, whose foraging runs down the left flank are a treat to watch.

South Africa has appeared twice before in the World Cup (1998 and 2002), never progressing beyond the group stages. Though they have boasted of some decent results at the world stage, including draws with Denmark and Saudi Arabia in 1998, this time they will have their task cut out and will need something extraordinary to make it past the group stages.

No doubt however, that the country will mark the occasion with amazing enthusiasm and energy, as it is probably the biggest bonanza they have ever hosted in their troubled history

FIFA World Cup Team Preview: Ivory Coast

Country: Ivory Coast or Côte d’Ivoire

Nickname: The Elephants

Manager: Sven Goran Eriksson

Group Opponents: Brazil, Portugal, North Korea

Recent Form & News: Ivory Coast has quite the formidable line-up to upset any of the top sides in this edition of the World Cup. However, they have been tagged as Africa’s underachievers in the big games. On their day, Ivory Coast can be in devastating form. However, in the big games, they have more often than not, flattered to deceive.

Take for example the last two editions of the African Cup of Nations. Both in Ghana and Angola, Les Elephants were expected to fire. However, they looked quite out of tune during the moments it really mattered. In Angola earlier this year, they lost in the quarter finals against Algeria, after taking the lead with only a few minutes on the clock. The abysmal show led to the dismissal of former coach, Vahid Halihodzic.

The administration immediately replaced him with highly acclaimed coach, Sven Goran Eriksson.

And while Mr. Eriksson brought with him much needed experience, what with him coaching in three continents prior to the job, he has had very less time to acclimatize himself with the team.

Arsenal's Kolo Toure

The Team:

Goalkeepers:

Boubacar Barry (Lokeren),

Vincent Angban (ASEC Mimosas)

Daniel Yeboah (ASEC Mimosas),

Aristide Zogbo (Maccabi Netanya)

Boubacar Barry plays for Lokeren, Belgium, and his experience as the national team’s number one during the last two Cup of Nations might tilt the position in his favor. However, his positioning and command over his defense is quite suspect. He has often been found wanting in his calling, and has been dubbed as the weak link in an otherwise stable squad.

Defenders:

Souleman Bamba (Hibernian),

Arthur Boka (Stuttgart),

Emmanuel Eboué (Arsenal),

Abdoulaye Méïté (West Bromwich Albion),

Siaka Tiéné (Valenciennes),

Kolo Touré (Manchester City),

Guy Demel (Hamburg),

Steve Gohouri (Wigan Athletic)

Benjamin Angoua (Valenciennes)

The Elephants are said to favor a four-man defense, a strategy that Sven will no doubt be only too happy to use. The spots in defense should automatically go to (in the author’s opinion) Eboué (right back), Kolo Touré (center back), Abdoulaye Méïté (center back) and Siaka Tiéné (left back).

While Eboue might not have been the most consistent for Arsenal this season, his driving runs certainly offer the team more options. Kolo Toure is the rock that anchors the defense.

Midfielders:

Emerse Fae (Nice),

Romaric (Sevilla),

Cheick Tioté (Twente),

Yaya Touré (Barcelona),

Gilles Yapi Yapo (Young Boys),

Didier Zokora (Sevilla),

Kanga Akalé (Lens),

Emmanuel Koné (Cluj)

As in Sven’s preference, a three man midfield could see Zokora, Toure Jr. and Romaric form the Elephants’ midfield. Their dynamism and all-action play is the team’s strength, no doubt something their group opponents Portugal and Brazil will take not of.

Forwards:

Aruna Dindane (Portsmouth),

Seydou Doumbia (CSKA Moscow),

Didier Drogba (Chelsea),

Salomon Kalou (Chelsea),

Abdul Keïta (Galatasaray),

Bakari Koné (Marseille),

Gervinho (Lille),

Jean-Jacques Gosso Gosso (Monaco),

The Elephants

Lacina Traoré (Cluj)

Eriksson’s biggest headache will be the selection of his forwards, such is the artillery he has at his disposal. A three-pronged attack could see the Premier League triplet of Drogba, Kalou and Dindane start.

Author’s Comments: Ivory Coast certainly looks the team to beat, but they have been drawn in the so-called Group of Death, Group G. The latest official odds are slightly tilted in favor of Portugal ahead of Ivory Coast, whereas North Korea is an unknown quantity, a fact that has not been missed by the coach. Drogba has already gone on record saying he’ll be looking for the Golden Boot. Their biggest asset is their midfield and attack, but the only problem might prove to be Eriksson’s relative inexperience and lack of assessment of the strengths of the squad. But be prepared for major upsets

Armstrong Crashes out of Tour of California

Lance Armstrong, who has been under intense media scrutiny over the alleged usage of performance enhancing drugs, crashed during the Tour of California along with several other riders on Thursday.

During the opening stages of the fifth stage, Armstrong crashed with several other riders, and needed eight stitches below his left eye, while the X-ray scans to his elbow turned out to be negative.  He continued for a while, but had to retire due to injuries, and withdrew from the event.

The overall lead was eventually grabbed by Australian Michael Rogers, who became the fourth new leader in five days. Rogers finished second in the race behind Peter Sagan of Slovakia in the 195.5 km stretch. American Dave Zabreskie is second, while Levi Leipheimer is third overall. Lance Armstrong remained twelfth overall.

Incidentally, Armstrong also crashed during the finishing stages of the fourth race, but was awarded the same time as the winner, because he had crashed during the last three kilometers of the race.

Fans around the world will be tracking his progress keenly, with an eye on the approaching Tour de France, where the seven time champion will look to continue his dominance.

Earlier, Armstrong strongly denied the allegations thrown at him by former team mate, Floyd Landis. Landis had been stripped of his Tour de France victory in 2006, after failing a doping test. After years of denial, Landis finally broke his silence on Wednesday, and accepted the claims that he had been using drugs since 2002. Armstrong had himself recruited Landis at US Postal, citing his experience and competitiveness as a mountain bike champion. Now Landis claims that this was the period when he learnt about the performance enhancing drugs.

When asked about the allegations, 38-year-old Armstrong said: “We have nothing to hide. With regards to the specific claims, they’re not worth getting into it.

“I’m not going to waste my time or your time. It’s our word against his word. I like our word.”

The Team Radioshack rider is no newcomer to allegations regarding drug usage, he has endured several during the last decade.

FIFA World Cup Predictions: USA 3-0 England

Shocked? I bet you are.

USA 3-0 England was the scoreline predicted by USA striker Jozy Altidore, to David Beckham, during a Los Angeles Lakers playoff game.

Pulling back the bull?

Altidore was at the game, scheduled to meet NBA superstar Kobe Bryant in the locker room, but saw Beckham in the crowd and decided to indulge in a little trash talk.

“I saw Becks there and I had to go over and tell him what is going to happen in South Africa,” Altidore said in an exclusive interview with Yahoo! Sports. “I made sure he knows how it’s going to be without him playing – USA 3, England 0.

“I was having fun with Becks and talking a bit of trash, and I forgot I was supposed to go to the locker room and meet Kobe.”

Beckham was ruled out of the World Cup when his Achilles snapped, and was devastated at the prospect of missing out on the record of being the first English player in four World Cups.

Altidore, who played for New York Red Bulls before moving to England with Hull City, however, is bullish about his country’s chances at the World Cup. USA has pulled off some amazing performances in the recent past, with their win over favorites Spain, and their narrow defeat in the finals of the Confederations Cup last year, also in South Africa.

"Frank"ly, I am confused!

Altidore was involved in an epic encounter with Beckham’s LA Galaxy, where the Red Bulls edged past 5-4, the striker himself scoring a brace, and Beckham providing three assists. But more recent form suggests that the USA forward might have misplaced his confidence in himself, having appeared for the relegated Hull City in the Premier League, and having only a single goal in 25 appearances for his efforts. Although USA have some important players, most notably Clint Dempsey, Landon Donovan and Tim Howard apart from Altidore himself, they are nowhere near as high-profile as the stars of the England lineup. Not that Jozy is worried, though.

“We don’t worry too much about names,” Altidore said. “What has happened in the past year has shown us that we don’t need to be afraid of any team, no matter how good they are or what their reputation is.

“That is a big step. To beat these teams you have to believe you can, and to believe you can play at that level too. If you don’t do that when you go out on the field, you will find yourself playing their game, and you have no chance.”

Incidentally, New York Red Bulls might well be the destination of out-of-favor Barcelona striker and France’s striker, Thierry Henry.

USA and England are in the same group, and will face off against each other on June 12th. We’ll just have to wait and see how true Altidore’s comments are.

‘Villa’ncia to Barcelona

It’s finally official. David Villa makes his way into the Catalan stronghold.

Earlier today, Barcelona secured the services of the Valencia and Spain hitman for a period of four years, and an optional extension of a year. A transfer fee of 40 million euros was decided upon by both the clubs, as the cash-strapped Valencia looked to their star striker for some much needed green.

A statement on Barcelona’s official website, www.fcbarcelona.cat, read: “FC Barcelona and Valencia CF closed a 40 million euro deal for Spanish striker David Villa on Wednesday morning.

“The Spanish international is due in Barcelona on Thursday evening and will have a medical on Friday morning.

“Villa will be officially unveiled as a Barca player at 1330 in the Paris Room of the Camp Nou.

“He’ll then make an appearance on the Camp Nou pitch. The stadium doors will be opened to the public.”

David Villa, 28, was the top scorer of Euro 2008, inspite of missing the finals due to injury. He has been a member of Sporting de Gijon, Real Zaragoza, Valencia, and now Barcelona. He was one goal shy of the La Liga’s top scorer Samuel Eto’o in 2005-06 season, with 25 goals in 35 appearances. He has also won the Copa del Rey twice, once with Zaragoza (2003, where he scored against Real Madrid in the final) and once with Valencia (2008, against Getafe)

David Villa has scored 109 goals in 166 appearances since his arrival from real Zaragoza in 2005. His arrival might put Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s future at the club in jeopardy, and he is already heavily being linked to the English Premier League, most notably Arsenal, in a swap deal with Cesc Fabregas, another of Barcelona’s targets this summer.

With Villa paired along with Messi, the Blaugrana will now shift their attentions to the Arsenal boy wonder, Cesc Fabregas. If Fab arrives at Barcelona as well, then the manager pep Guardiola might consider pairing him with Xavi in midfield, and pushing up Iniesta up front with Villa and Messi, to form a mouth-watering attack. More reason for their rivals to fear.

Villa, who was also linked to English giants Manchester United earlier, will reach Barcelona for a medical on Thursday, and the club will look to unveil him on Friday.

Cesc Confronts Arsene in Emotional Face-Off

In a shocking revelation, Arsenal captain Cesc Fabregas spoke to his manager Arsene Wenger that he wants to leave the club and join his boyhood club, Barcelona.

Over the past few days, speculations had been rife concerning Barcelona’s evergreen interest to sign back their star youth player. Arsenal bought Fabregas from Barcelona as a 16-year old for free, and though Cesc knows he owes Arsene his career, it would be in his best personal interests to go to a club going through a golden period.

Fabregas, who returned to London from Spain for treatment to his injured knee, said that he had thought long and hard about this decision, and that it was not an easy one to make.

Barcelona have a lot more to offer to the ambitious 23-year old, winning several trophies and titles, whereas Arsenal have not seen any silverware added to their cabinet for the last five years. Arsene Wenger was calm during the entire meeting, but asked Fabregas to stay on for one more season at Arsenal, where he has achieved a demi-god status. However, Cesc seems bent on making a switch this summer. Considering that even Barcelona manager Pep Guardiola mentioned that Barcelona are on a golden run, and that inspite of the club’s excellent youth ranks, it will not always be able to replicate this form, Cesc will be tempted to join them when they are at their best.

However, no one should doubt his dedication to Arsenal, as he has led from the front one multiple occasions this season and has been instrumental in keeping Arsenal in the Premier League title race for so long. He even appeared against Barcelona while still injured. Fabregas has appears for Arsenal 264 times over the last 7 years, since September 2003. He has scored 70 goals, but his reputation has been because of  his defense-splitting passes that he uses to deadly effect.

Barcelona, on the verge of signing David Villa from Valencia, also confirmed that they were “very close to a deal” with Fabregas, and that it made matter easy, that both players “want to play for the club”. Rumors suggest that Barcelona will make a bid of 30 million pounds. The Catalans are also being linked to star Liverpool striker Fernando Torres, which if goes through, will see him paired with David Villa in an all-Spanish attack. Whether Arsenal accepts the deal is yet to be seen, and it is believed that they will not accept anything less that 40 million pounds for their star player and captain. However there have been quite a few reports linking Zlatan Ibrahimovic to Arsenal, and it seems that Barcelona might look to off-load the lanky forward in an effort to make the deal a little bearable. Ibrahimovic has not exactly rediscovered his scintillating form at Inter Milan, from where he made a switch only this season in a swap deal for Samuel Eto’o.

Arsenal fans will only cross their fingers and pray that their hero will not leave them this season, not when Arsenal looks as strong as ever to make (yet) another title bid.

Should Steven Gerrard Leave Liverpool?

A controversial topic indeed. One that has invited howls and cheers from all quarters alike. Writers will generally tend to stay away from controversy - but this author wanted to stir some new flames.



Mr. Dependable. A Liverpool man through and through. Mr. Red. No matter how many tags he has been called, or how many aspirations he has borne. No matter whether he has pledged his career for the club, or if he has several amazing memories with his hometown club.



Every time there are the words "transfer'  and 'bid' associated with Gerrard, Liverpool fans all over the world shift to the edge of their seats with furrowed brows. They do not want their talisman to leave, for obvious reasons. He has been their hopes, their dreams, and their savior for several years now.



This season has been pretty damaging for Liverpool - ousted of all their competitions without so much as a whiff of a finals anywhere. Except maybe the Europa league, that is. What with the club owners stirring up a storm about the club's debts, a board member slanging the club's fans, the club going up for sale, the managers future in debt, and so on and so forth..... No one would really blame Gerrard if he does decided to leave.



Gerrard turns 30 this May, and while his twelve year loyalty to the first team is undeniable, pundits across the world have been unconvinced with his form of late. While his class is unquestionable, there is one match he cannot win - that against age. Over the years, several clubs have been linked to the man. He almost left Liverpool for Chelsea twice. More recently, he has been linked to Manchester City, Inter Milan and Real Madrid. While Inter Milan and Real Madrid have the lure of the Champions League with them, Manchester City can only boast of their petropounds. Should Gerrard consider a switch?



It will, without doubt, be a better move for his career. At this stage, he needs fresh challenges, new goals. He needs a team to back him up, and more importantly, a title or a Cup in sight. No doubt his leaving the club will generate enormous funds, some much-needed green. Maybe that will be his parting gift for the club he loves above all else.



Has Gerrard achieved everything he wanted? Has he achieved the glory that his stature deserves? Quite obviously not.



Several players, both current and former, have tipped him to leave. Manchester United winger Nani, who had a terrific season, has challenged Gerrard to be more ambitious in quest for titles and leave the club. Nani, 23, already has a bagful of trophies that Gerrard can be envious of. Even former Reds' star, Jason McAteer, said he wouldn't be surprised if Real Madrid convinced the Liverpool captain to switch loyalties. He went so far to claim that the senior players  in the Liverpool dressing room ,including Gerrard, were unsettled under Benitez, and wanted a change in the managerial department. And if Gerrard does leave the club, he wouldn't ever play for another Premier League club. Which leaves Real Madrid or Inter as the logical options.



But this is exactly the author feels why he shouldn't leave. Gerrard joined Liverpool FC as a nine year old. He has lived there his whole life. At every match, he reaches out to the fans and tries to give them what he thinks they deserve. LFC is his second home. Gerrard, though a great player, should not leave the club, instead, he should help rebuild it. Whether or not Benitez will stay next season, Gerrard must assume a role-position by making a statement, that he has no intention of leaving. His next targets must be to bring back Liverpool into the top-four mold, maybe even attempt to win the premiership. This will not only be another feather in his cap, but make a larger-than-life persona. And that's exactly for Gerrard is, and the sort of glory that he deserves.

The Toast of the Nation - Gouramangi Singh

For the last few days, I have observed that no one has picked up this important story, one that surely goes a step further in putting India on the world map of football. 

Gouramangi Singh could be well on his way to become the fourth Indian to ply his trade on foreign soil, after Mohamed Salim (Celtic), Bhaichung Bhutia (Bury FC) and Sunil Chettri (Kansas City Wizards).

The 6'1" centre back was offered a two-week trial by the Melbourne Heart FC, of the highly rated A-League of Australia. In doing so, he is the first non-striker to be offered a chance to prove his worth outside India.

The Indian football team has been making  headlines recently, with the performances of Sunil Chettri, and Gouramangi Singh certainly seems to be taking it further. The 25-yr old has played a lot of important games for both his club (Churchill Bros.) and country, and is a calming influence in defense.

Indian national coach Bob Houghton, whose own future with the team is in doubt, praised the Manipuri about his work ethic and attitude. However, if Gouramangi manages to bag a contract for the Melbourne Heart FC, it would mean he would miss out on the eight-month preparation camp of the Indian national team for the 2011 Asian Cup, where ironically, India will face off against Australia during their group stages. 

Indian forward Abhishek Yadav is convinced that Indian players are being taken seriously now, following their successful campaigns over the last few years. He said of Gouramangi, "Gouramangi is a nice chap. Defensively, I think he’s calm and very cool. He doesn’t lose his cool under pressure. He makes minimal mistakes and I think he’s been one of the most important members in the national team over the last few years."

"He keeps the defence intact. He is also a good leader and communicates well the team. If you check his record in the national team, you will find that India has not conceded many goals when he has played."

Melbourne FC head coach, John van't Schip also spoke very brightly of the youngster.

“Indian football is very much an unknown quantity, but I am confident Gouramangi has the potential to make an impression here in Melbourne,” he said.

“Despite his age, he is already an accomplished international footballer, having played in a number of important matches for India, including World Cup qualifiers.

“The club will have a close look at his ability, and determine whether he is both capable of making the transition to the Hyundai A-League and playing the football we want to play.”

His credentials are certainly good, including the Durand Cup in 2007 and 2009, the I-League title in 2008-09 where he was adjudged Best Defender, the historic IFA Shield in 2009, and helped his team Churchill Brothers to reach the group stages of the AFC Cup. On the international level too, he has impressed one and all, captaining the India U-18 team which won the legendary Ian Rush Trophy in 2003, representing the country in the U-23 team in the Olympic Qualifiers, where he starred in the draw against Iraq. He has been consistently delivering  solid performances for the senior team as well, helping them win the 2007 Nehru cup and 2008 AFC Challenge Cup.

Gouramangi Singh himself was ecstatic upon hearing the news.

“I would first like to thank God for giving me this great opportunity to showcase my skills abroad. Its every players dream to ply his trade at a higher level, and mine is no different. But it’s not always that one gets fortunate enough to land a trial and I intend to grab this opportunity and prove myself to the club. I would like to thank all my fans across the country that have supported me over the years and I hope I repay their faith in me by excelling at the trials.

"The invitation to try out for the club was a bolt from the blue and least expected, I had to pinch myself really hard to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. I now look forward to impressing the club coach. I am quite thrilled about the prospect of playing alongside Simon Colosimo and John Aloisi, both Australian internationals who are part of the team. I would also like to thank the national team coach Mr. Bob Houghton for instilling in me the self belief that I can achieve it all and without his pivotal role in my career, none of this would have been possible.”

He will be attending the trials from the 7th of June to 19th of June 2010. 

Quotes from the sitcom "Titus"

Titus is one of the funniest and craziest sitcoms I've ever seen. Although the show ran for only three seasons, I wouldn't mind more of the dark comedy!

1. [Ken reveals that Tommy had a dream about Titus, in which Titus was naked]
Tommy Shafter: The nudity, it wasn't gratuitous, it was integral to the plot of the dream!
Christopher Titus: [disgusted] There was a plot?
Tommy Shafter: You were a pirate.
[Titus moans in disgust] 

2. Ken Titus: You're being too hard on yourself, son.
Christopher Titus: Son?
Tommy Shafter: Too hard on yourself?
Dave: Being? 

3. Christopher Titus: According to the Los Angeles Times, 63% of families in America are now considered dysfunctional. That means that I'm in the majority. It's the people with the mom, dad, brother, sister, white picket fence, those people are the *freaks*! 

4. Christopher Titus: The normal make a living, the deranged make history. 

5.  Christopher Titus: My mom is crazy. I don't mean My mom is craaazy! I mean We the jury find the defendant... She was diagnosed a manic-depressive, schizophrenic and admitted to a mental care facility. Or, as Dad so eloquently put it...
Ken Titus: Son, your mom is shacked up in the whacko basket. 

6. Christopher Titus: Dave's my brother, I love him with all my heart. No matter how many times I'm charged as an accessory! 

7. Christopher Titus: Fifteen years I have chosen *not* to drink. Because I'm not good at drinking. I know it. Erin knows it. The fire department that had to put me out knows it. 

8.  Jerry October: You must be Ken Titus, I'm Jerry October, welcome to Life Forward, where people discover what holds them back in life. 

Ken Titus: All these people have kids? 

9. Christopher Titus: Growing up, road trips with Dad were something I hated. Sitting still for hours, singing that stupid song, 100 bottles of beer on the wall. 100 bottles of beer... Dad, you know, keeping up with the song. 

10. Christopher Titus: There's one in every family. When the police calls in the middle of the night and says We've got a family members of yours under arrest and you know directly who it is. In my family we have seven of those... And they are all my *Mom*! 

11. Nancy: I'll call 411 and get the number for 911! 

Dave: She's panicking. I'll call 411 and get the number for 911. 

12.   [about his mother] 

Christopher Titus: Without her it would still be legal in this state to kill a man with a cappuccino machine. 

13. Christopher Titus: The only way to tell my Dad something is to write it on a note, and tie it to a brick, and throw it through a window. Of course, now Dad's armed with a brick. 

14. [running into a police station] 

Christopher Titus: Uh, excuse me. Christopher Titus; my brother's been arrested.
Steve: Who's your brother?
[Chris shakes Steve's hand]
Christopher Titus: You must be new here. 

15. chael: Erin's coming home with us. You got a problem with that? I'd be more than happy to Duke your Earl! 

Christopher Titus: [sarcastically] Oh no, I better protect my Earl!
Tommy Shafter: Yeah, by shamalamming your ding dong!
Michael: He is talking about fighting, right?
Christopher Titus: Probably not. 

16. Christopher Titus: A lie is a lie... unless your friends and family are in on it. Then it's a commonly held belief. 

17. Christopher Titus: What do you mean, Dad is dead? 

Dave Titus: I think... dad is dead!
Christopher Titus: Not a lot of gray area here, Dave. Dead? Not dead? Is there a pulse?
Dave Titus: I don't know.
Christopher Titus: I have taken half a day off work. There better be a corpse! I mean... what makes you think he's dead?
Dave Titus: He's been in his room for four days now.
Christopher Titus: Right, and?
Dave Titus: Without getting a beer.
Christopher Titus: Oh, my God.